This is Not That Difficult, Democrats

by Lex Talionis
Published: 23 April 2018

There’s no shortage of media stories with the following themes: “Here’s what’s wrong with the Democrats”; “Why don’t Democrats have a strategy for the 2018 midterms?” and other advice columns that seem to ignore the absolute pathetic state of the Republican Party and its growing malfeasance. By all means, let’s ask Democrats what their alleged problem is while we ignore the Nazi-curious, pedophile-friendly and spineless party that is the GOP.

But, Democrats do have a messaging problem, which is a bit odd since any and all potential attack ads have written themselves given the complete incompetence of the Republican Party. True to form, Democrats seem fixated on two central concepts: 1) voters will inevitably see things their way after a careful and thoroughly rational investigation of the issues; 2) boring the shit out of voters with 20,000 word lectures about policy.

When the tax scam bill went through, I was perplexed (and increasingly irritated) that the Democratic National Committee’s media arm (yes, they actually have one) didn’t come out with an immediate response commercial. There was nothing to counter it and show it for what it is: a payday loan for the rest of us that we’re going to have to start paying for in 2019 at 110 percent interest. Instead, Democrats fell back their unshakeable belief that left to their own devices, voters would see through the bullshit. Now, it’s true that there are many things you have to let play out in order for people to realize that something is very wrong, no matter how many times you’ve warned them. Except Democrats rely exclusively on that, when they could have helped it along with some well-placed ads. Hell, I even wrote one for the DNC Press in radio format and told them to please use as they saw fit; I didn’t need any credit or want any.

Alas, I never saw any ads to press this point. Okay, you lean back in your chair and roll your eyes and try again. With the midterms coming, Democrats shouldn’t have to try very hard to write any ads because they’ve all written themselves, given the aforementioned utter incompetence of Republicans and their failure to govern. Mind you, this ain’t an exhaustive list but it’s a good start:

•We’ll protect your healthcare
•We’ll protect Social Security
•We’ll protect Medicare
•We’ll protect the nation’s finances
•We’ll protect you from the banks who caused the recession
•We’ll protect your drinking water
•We’ll protect public lands
•We’ll protect national security
•We won’t let Russia boss the United States around
•We’ll shove the Nazis and pedophiles back under their rocks

Be sure to end each commercial with: “Because Republicans aren’t doing any of those things.”

You’re welcome.