There he is, right on cue: public enemy number one, Usama bin Laden.

His latest missive comes right at the latest outrage in the Middle East, the assassination of former Pakistan prime minister Benazir Bhutto. What's interesting about this is the Pakistani government immediately claiming that al-Qaeda was behind the killing and then this audiotape. Like it's confirming something.

Of course, bin Laden's tapes always come at convenient times, and they've happened so much over the past few years that it would be a surprise if he didn't comment on world events. And I as I know that any proof of collusion is lacking, you have to admit the effect is nicely packaged: you see, we have to fight them over there otherwise they'd be over here. Of course, "over there" is this case is Pakistan and not Iraq, but since most Americans have no idea which country is which, it doesn't matter that much.

The other thing I shouldn't be surprised about is the sound of America yawning about bin Laden's tape. Does anyone care anymore that this sonofabitch is still lurking about? Sure, the candidates for president may have made mention of it, but no one around the water cooler seems to be upset about it. And why should they? While I have no doubt that there are military operations hunting for him, our Decider in Chief remains unconcerned that bin Laden is on the loose. Other officials don't say too much either. I suppose we should face it: bin Laden is too passé for our tastes, especially since we're all too worried about Britney and her knocked-up teenage sister.

So, now we enter 2008 with pretty much the same mess as we've had all year long. Sure, Petraeus Christ has gloated that the surge has worked because violence is down, except some reports put suicide bombings back on the rise, and the other point of the surge, namely the political process, is stuck in Iraqi amber. Thus, we may be done to only a dozen dead bodies in Baghdad, but the war is still going on.

If only we gave a shit enough to ...oh wait, more stuff about Britney!

Well, well, I’m on pins and needles: the Israelis and the Palestinians are holding a peace conference.

I can’t wait for the outcome. I really hope this time it produces results.

By the way, some other feckless Arab states are joining, including the Saudis and the Syrians, who pouted and kicked the dirt until “goaded” to attend.

How many fucking conferences do you need to hold on this 100-year conflict? What striking new issues have developed that’s been an obstacle to peace, aside from even more illegal Israeli settlements and incompetence of the Palestinians to keep their society from unraveling? This entire conference is bogus, and reeks from desperation, but it’s unclear if that desperation is coming from Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice or Bush proclaiming that “now is the time for peace?”

Now? Why now? Oh yeah, that’s right, you’re presidency is being exposed for the disaster it is, coupled with our flailing Iraqi Expedition. Seems “now” is the time to salvage something and act like it’s been part of the Master Plan all along.

At least that’s how I imagine the Bushies painting it, abetted by the hapless fucks in the media. After all, they helped cheer on the rush to invade Iraq, and then pretended to criticize their actions several years later when it really became apparent that there were no weapons of mass destruction and the case for war was a fraud. Why shouldn’t they try to help Bush one last time, with the very core conflict in the Middle East, an issue that’s essentially been ignored by the Administration from day one. Why do you think comatose Ariel Sharon was able to do what he wanted in the territories? And now we’re supposed to believe that after all these years of relative inaction by the White House, we’re gonna jump start the peace process, declare a viable, Palestinian state and tell everyone we’ve transformed the Middle East into an oasis of peace and democracy?

This conference is a joke, a colossal waste of time that will produce nothing more than a lot of “progress” and “substantive talks” which is diplospeak for a lot of hot air. In other words, it’s just more of the same.