I’ve been noting a few cartoons over the past few days since Jerry Falwell, founder of the Moral Majority and an evangelical leader who wanted to replace our constitutional republic with a Protestant theocracy, died. I don’t doubt that millions of gullible idiots (MGI) are deeply upset over his demise, but what struck me was how polite the cartoons tended to be.

I won’t say that I’ve gone through some exhaustive list, but of the ten or so I read, each one had him at the gates of Heaven looking surprised that there were gays and lesbians also there. Some trite little words of St. Peter («We let everyone in!» or «We’re more forgiving up here», drivel like that) greet a dumbstruck Falwell with not so subtle point that perhaps God is more inclusive than him.

How quaint. How delightful. I wonder which cartoonist has the balls to put this loudmouthed, hateful motherfucker sharing a cartoon panel with the Devil, or perhaps suffering some Dantesque fate. Remember folks, this is a guy who blamed 9/11 on abortionists, gays, pagans and feminists, as proof of God’s wrath and anger at the United States. (Hmm, isn’t that what bin Laden would say?)

Falwell doesn’t deserve some respect; he was a greedy, stupid sonofabitch who amassed a great deal of wealth and made no secret of his contempt for American democracy and other human beings. And he couldn’t have gotten this far but for the MGI who supported him and his massive ego. In fact, I think it’s kinda funny that Martin Luther would rail against the indulgences sold by the Catholic Church, only for us to have its modern day equivalent among blabbermouth Protestants who certainly believe that supporting these blowhard bastards is their insurance for going to heaven.

So, as I wait for the cartoonist with the balls to put Falwell where he belongs (and dropping the pretense that we should be respectful of someone who hated so many others), I’ll leave you with a few choice Falwell comments:

"AIDS is not just God’s punishment for homosexuals; it is God’s punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.”

"God has removed his veil of protection from America in no small part, because of the feminists and the gays."

“The idea that religion and politics don’t mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.”

“If you’re not a born-again Christian, you’re a failure as a human being.”

Rot in hell, asshole.

May sound like a new band, but it’s not. Today is May Day, day celebrated for various reasons, none the least is the one most Americans probably associate it with: communism and socialism. Oh yeah, there’s also immigrant rallies scheduled for today across the country, so that combination will definitely anger up the blood for scores of red state whities who loathe both Commies and Wetbacks.

I expect hate-radio to be in full swing, scouring news reports for anybody carrying a Mexican flag (a practice that I even I find dumb, considering what’s at stake here); but since almost all the participants are brownies, no one will make the distinction between a Mexican and a someone from Venezuela, Panama, or Chile. Damn it, they’re all darkies, they all speak Spanish and can barely speak English without that irritating accent, and they’re illegal: send them back home.

Of course, the media will duly inform us that “immigration will be a central issue in the 2008 presidential election.” This a day after telling us that the Iraq war will be a central issue of the 2008 presidential election. Reporters will file in reaction from the Democratic candidates (who will posture about how this will be an issue for the 2008 presidential election) and maybe make a mention of the Republicans, mostly because we already what they think: Throw the wetbacks out! After they manicure my lawn!

Ahh, let the hate begin!

By the way, 100 American soldiers were killed in Iraq during the month of April, and today is four years to the day Bush declared “mission accomplished” is his codpiece-enhanced flight suit. Just thought you’d like to know.