Okay, I don’t get it: we have Michael Chertoff, head of Homeland Security, telling only the Chicago Tribune that he has a “gut” feeling we’re about to be attacked again, be he fails to raise the alert level. Why?

It’s a very bad day when the dire warning of how al-Qaeda has gotten back to 9/11 capacity, and the chief of Homeland Security intimates we’re going to be attacked very soon...and most people either ignore it or just bury it. ABC News, however, breathlessly lept onto the story and made me feel like I should be panicking, but there were no screaming headlines from the New York Times or the Washington Post.

And it’s even worse day when you just don’t believe a fucking word the Administration says about anything that you treat this like political opportunism: once again, low poll numbers, Republican senators making their own exit strategies from the White House, and a tendency to label every fighter in Iraq as “al-Qaeda,” well, why should I not be surprised there’s a terror warning?

As I’ve mentioned before, it’s always good to be prepared for a disaster, even it means little more than having candles or non-perishable foods in your house in case there’s a blackout. But this Administration has lied so much that I just am deeply skeptical over how al-Qaeda is suddenly tanned, rested and ready to go. (Oh, and by the way, how the fuck is that even possible? We keep being told that Iraq is the frontline in the war on terror, so how is it that this group of militant assholes now has the capacity to strike? Oh, is it because they’re in Pakistan, a country that’s fucked us over more than Saudi Arabia?)

Like I said, it’s a sad day that news of such dire (but as usual, unspecified) threats are treated more like political posturing than anything else.

For two days, ABC News has done a breathless report about the evils of bottled water: how much Americans consume and how damaging it is for the environment since so many plastic containers wind up in landfills (as opposed to what’s recycled, a figure they don’t bother to tell us.)

Why these reports are coming out right now is anyone’s guess, much less figuring out at what point did ABC’s “journalists” suddenly remember their Econ 101 notes: it takes money to make money, and it takes energy to consume energy as well. As though relating some previously unreleased knowledge, ABC News duly informs us about how much OIL it takes to make the plastic bottles and much OIL it takes to transport it from Point A to Point B.

The tacit conclusion: bottled water is evil.

I scratched my head in a vain attempt to understand why ABC News is picking on bottled water to illustrate my above line about energy production and consumption. Singling out the plastic for the containers (plastic is a byproduct of oil) was especially puzzling because we dervive a universe of products from oil, including the camera they used to film the piece, the fuel in the company car they took to film the piece, and the electricity they used to power the office and computer to edit the piece.

Pointing out how dependent we are on oil and its byproducts is one thing; ABC News making it seem that bottled water is the Scourge of Allah is just this side of misleading. Studies have been conducted that bottled water is no better or safer than tap water, but it’s a successful ploy by the bottled water folks to inculcate a sense of healthiness and wholeness with a bottle of water that costs $2.00 when you can get the same stuff in your kitchen sink. (After all, if you think the tap is gross, why do you wash your dishes or clothes with it?) And I think it’s great that restaurants are just plying us with tap water instead of bottled water, although if they were really environmentally aware, they’d make customers ask for it before setting out 12-ounce glasses of water that might remain on the table and wind up being poured down the sink.

But ABC News just seem hell-bent on showing how wasteful bottled water is; okay fine, if that’s the angle the producer wants to take, great, but how about adding in more things than just bottled water? Why not give us some facts over how many of those little plastic bottles actually get recycled? Or, push into peoples’ minds that tap water is not reclaimed water and can match bottled water?

But no, let’s hype this up and make it seem as though if we just say no to bottled water, we might have this oil dependency thing licked.

Well, now, for the umpteenth time, I am compelled to ask all those red state folks about their man Bush: how’s he doin’ now?

I remember well, as it wasn’t that long ago, when Republicans of all stripes were baying loudly for Clinton’s head because he got some in the White House and then lied about it. I easily recall the moral indignation of those who lectured everyone about how we are a nation of laws, and about the rule of law, and how the president is not above the law, yadda, yadda, yadda. How the Supreme Court let the Paula Jones Freakshow proceed even though the Clintons argued that it would be improper to adjudicate this ridiculous case against a sitting president.

Now, in the backdrop of that insanity, I ask red state assholes: how much is enough? Is this what you mean when you tuck Jonny and Jane in at night and tell them about how America is a chosen nation by God, how superior we are to all others and how liberals (the fags and the abortion doctors especially) hate our tradition of law and order? About the evils of «situational ethics» and «moral relativism?»

Bush commutes (pardons) Scooter Libby who is, by all accounts, a convicted felon. He lied to FBI investigators and federal prosecutors about an issue of national security. Of course, conversatives don’t think Valerie Plame was a real agent, so it’s okay to publish her name and anything else about her. Hey, conservative pricks, why don’t we just publish the names of other FBI agents who aren’t covert, according to your logic? Hmm, bet that wouldn’t go over very well.

Libby was convicted in a court of law; Bush commuted his prison setence because he didn’t like it, and the soulless fucks who make up his base were screaming for it. Again, these are the same low-brow turds who had an endless supply of outrage and torches chasing down Clinton and every alleged scandal they could dream up. The word «hypocritical» doesn’t begin to scratch the surface on this flip-flopping bullshit.

So red staters, what’s it gonna be? Where is your moral outrage now? Where are your lectures about the rule of law?

What’s that? I can’t hear you.